10 Signs You’re Having an Affair with Worship Ministry


affairWhy are worship leaders finding it so difficult to balance family and ministry responsibilities? It’s possible those demands and expectations are church or church leadership imposed. But it’s also equally likely they are self-imposed. Some of us are willing to sacrifice almost all waking hours away from our spouse if it means we will have the largest choir or most renowned worship band. Our biblical call to lead others to be a living sacrifice will never ask us to sacrifice our marriage. Doing so would be a sign we’re having an extramarital affair with worship ministry.

10 Signs You’re Having an Affair with Worship Ministry
  • You always ask how something might impact your worship leading before asking how it might impact your marriage.
  • You find more in common with worship team members and consequently, compare your spouse to them.
  • You expect your spouse to have the same passion for your worship leadership as you do.
  • You attend worship conferences in exotic locations but never have enough time for a romantic weekend getaway.
  • Most text messages are to/from band members instead of your spouse.
  • You spend your evenings on YouTube, Spotify and Planning Center so you’re not really home emotionally and relationally even when you’re home physically.
  • You assume leading worship is a higher calling than what your spouse is called to.
  • You have a different spiritual persona on the platform than you do at home.
  • The newest song text instead of the name of your spouse is on your lips when you go to sleep.
  • The affirmation you get from leading worship feeds you more than the affirmation you get at home.

5 Responses to “10 Signs You’re Having an Affair with Worship Ministry”

  • Are You Having an Affair With Worship Ministry? • ChurchLeaders.com Says:

    […] and 47 percent of their spouses are suffering from frantic schedules and unrealistic expectations.[1] Is this really what God intended and required when He called us to lead […]

  • Brenda Doerfler Says:

    Awesome article and so true! This info would make and promote a great ministry leadership conference must-attend training session!

  • Rich Kirkpatrick Says:

    Wow. So much wisdom here, as usual. Thanks for this.

  • David Manner Says:


    Thanks for the response. I love your quote “we often give our best to those who love us least.” So often true in ministry.

  • Michael Murray Says:


    This is such a good reminder if music leaders will head the warning and take seriously what you have written.
    One thing I have learned is that we often give our best to the those who love us least. I am not sure where I got this phrase but it can really help in keep perspective.
    Music things will happen with you or without you. None of us are indispensable . If you lose your family while doing “ministry” you have done it wrong.
    I think at the heart of this issue is pride. Pride in position, pride in recognition, pride in thinking you are the only one who can lead.

    Thanks for writing and sharing.


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